deeper than words

a little red car, no frills
the smell of gas that lingers in the air
manual windows, of course
a trusted companion for the manual gears
a small lever to start the car, optional were the seatbelts.
few black switches on the dash, no radio to fiddle with
that first gear that just doesn’t want to engage,
but always did after a few
the lights that work, they just require a little wiggle.
the simplicity of what once was.
cruising down old familiar streets
all the small overlooked details now standing out
ready to be admired by those who seek.
the light breeze flowing in the small cab tingling the senses
searching for the meaning of it all,
a daunting task that consumes those who embark on the journey
but in that moment he didn’t care.
he didn’t need the answers to the worries,
the doubts and all else that troubles his soul.
the sound of the breeze quieting the voices within
for long enough for him to realize that
he was happy to just be alive and
to have the opportunity to share the experience.
the simplicity in the moment made him feel that he was more than enough.

people around,
yet in some way,
never felt more alone.

unspoken expectations,
when all things start to crumble.
but are we just afraid of what is to happen
if we let the bunny out the hat?

some days,
not enough words between us,
an undeniable connection.
some days,
the silence amplifies to deafening levels,
a killer, that makes no noise.

no such thing as “finding yourself”,
that is something you create,
only you and no one else.

growing tired,
of being the one that checks the boxes,
the safe choice,
the picture perfect
for everyone else but myself.
plentiful are the unfulfilled needs.

your eyes glimmer
filled with unspoken words,
thoughts you keep to yourself.
you try to anyway.
darling, for you
I would drown in your sadness,
to take it all away, along with your pain
just to prove to you that it is all going to be okay.
if only you could understand.

a ponytail,
showing me more of your face.
now more prominent, the enigmatic looks you give.
swings left, then right as you walk away,
my least, yet most, favorite sight.
my mind always wondering what you’re thinking about.
one thing is for certain
fighting my urge to grab you and get you closer to me,
where you belong,
so close that I could taste you.

you make me feel wildly unsure,
but yet, never been more certain of anything.
all at the same time,
the power of you.

is it truly a desire to disappear,
disappear into the obscurity that is life,
or is it a wish to simply be found.