170degrees, sitting in a hot wood lined box
burning from the outside in.
sweat pouring from unknown places
the dark side coming to the surface
daring to overpower the senses.
the naked body accepting the destiny.
36degrees, a cold shower
water boiling as it touches the skin.
the dark side fighting to stay
on the surface
retreating until next time.
feeling alive in the uncomfortable.
one more minute.
many are the words,
I wish to hear them from you.
the feeling of a being a priority
as I make you mine.
someone who can not be replaced.
taking care of me,
as I take care of you.
I see so much with you
and all the things I know we could be.
but, you see,
when it is dark out
the thoughts of history repeating itself
haunt my soul.
I often fear,
waking up in 30 years and
wondering what was it all for?
maybe that is why
I purposely make
myself feel pain,
the reality of the now
strengthening the mental fortitude
because after all,
“that is the risk you took”.
my soul calling for yours
like a breeze on a warm summer night.
when I hear your hello,
the world pauses.
nothing else matters, but you.
until next time,
I’ll just wait on the line.
a natural drug,
a magical antidote to my struggles,
a light to my darkness,
a feeling of calmness,
a symphony only you can compose…
it’s your voice, it’s you.
documenting my thoughts.
the feelings that shape
my present moment.
a small fraction,
as oftentimes countless
are the thoughts
that occupy my mind.
learning to share
the parts of me
I’ve kept hidden
from everyone,
including myself.
I stare at you
because when I do,
the world stops.
the worries of today and tomorrow
no longer relevant.
the noise in my head
no longer a deafening sound.
in a place where it is just you and
no one else.
nothing else.
when you are not around,
the world resumes.
I can survive, of course,
but I do not like it.
I just walk around until
I see you again
and maybe then
the world can stop once more.
my happy place.
I love it when it stops
a feeling, I have grown addicted to
and can not seem to do without.
and that, my dear,
is why I stare at you…
it is within the bad times
we understand what really matters.
the treacherous pain,
now finding its purpose.
deeper than words 