deeper than words

mind coming back to reality
false pretenses,
readjusting to the truth.
another disappointment to the ever growing list.

should a genie in the bottle
ever grant me one wish
it would be for you
to see yourself through my eyes.
only then,
will you understand
the magnitude of what
you make me feel,
the countless emotions
and all the beauty I see within you.
you’re my wish come true.

easy,
would it be to fall for your beauty,
or the way you look in a dress.
yet as we fade, so will beauty.
but your eyes, darlin’
is what I am falling for.
those eyes and the way you look at me
is what I want to grow old with.

with each passing day, 
finding more to adore.
a sense of getting lost
in the small details of you,
allowing them to take me home
where I belong.

Short was the time spent in that city. What was meant to be a lifetime, turned out to be a small chapter filled with ups, downs and in between. Fond are the memories of those four walls, the life it created and the altering events that I didn’t know would play a pivotal role in a future that was yet to come. 

A few years transpired since that silver key last locked that door — a door that was purchased twice since the first one was the wrong size, plentiful were the mistakes, wondering if I would be able to secure those very same four walls that night — on that snowy day in March, March 9th to be precise.

Similar to mistakes, plentiful are my flaws with a big one being my selective memory. It is as if, purposely omitting the bad provides me with the purpose required to endure another day, a mere reminder of why I try so hard. 

Sitting in silence, a now stranger to those familiar streets admiring those four walls. They didn’t glow the same like I remember them to. The grass, no longer green and far too tall, leaving me to wonder if the new custodians even cared. Did they know the zones for the sprinkler system and that the grass needed 8 minutes on alternating days in order to thrive. Did they know that my name was secretly scribed everywhere in those four walls hidden by a baseboard, a tile, a cabinet, an outlet, a layer of drywall, a piece of trim everywhere I could I did. A lot of love went in, and while not perfect, it was all I could give. Would they nurture it a little better if they knew how much of me I put into it? 

A sense of doubt takes over as I start walking away, those four walls no longer belong to me. Maybe I am doing it again, my flaws overpowering me, making me remember something that was not.

As the image fades into the distance, all I know is that I am glad I felt this, a simple reminder that I am still alive.

next to you,
an overwhelming feeling of comfort.
when I feel you near,
soft my senses become.
we are safe in each other’s arms,
to be seen. 
unalterable the events that 
lead me to you. 
meant to be, 
was our destiny. 
in the way no words are needed
because my heart beats differently to you.
perhaps,
it is in the knowing that 
just being near you
is all I’ll ever need…

I see your beauty
you can’t hide it from me
the greatest gift you’ll ever give me,
all of you,
and I wouldn’t change a thing.
a masterpiece,
for my eyes to feast on
and my soul to surrender to.

you sit across from me
your soft legs, mingled with one another 
deep is my desire to please you
and I don’t mean just physically 
but emotionally. 
to make you feel things you’ve never felt before.
your eyes lure me in
always leaving me craving for more.
perfect is your body
your gentle moans as our lips become one 
I grab you on to me firmly, 
fighting my urge to not get carried away  
to succumb to my profound desire of kissing 
every inch of your body
I am going to take my time
and learn all about you,
your mind,
your soul…
even though, with you
I finally feel like I am at home. 

I crave the deepest parts of you,
where my soul can rest
to the sound of your butterflies
moving at the rhythm of your heart.

trying to find my place
into this universe.
plentiful are the unknowns
but loving you,
isn’t one of them.